Marriage Makes a Man

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“Marriage is all about holding burden, adding tension, and ending freedom.” One of my colleagues remarks desperately. Other chaps around provoke him teasingly insisting him on getting tied as soon as possible; they’d rather be kind enough to rescue him from life-long desertion. But he is adamant in what martial notions he has had and he is, thus, going to escape from this nuptial turmoil.

He admits a long narrative of heterogeneity: There are so many lonely people happily living, so many couples irritatingly sleeping, so many husbands getting nagged every time by their wives, and so many wives being smacked every day by their husband, besides so many couples contradicting, confronting, rowing, wrangling, and skirmishing. What frustrates me is that when I see their only son periled by drugs, challenging the parents exercising his lucrative whims, negating everything, and ruining. Aren’t you hurt when you happen to see your daughter being embraced by a strange teenager who looks mean and coarse- blindly obsessed and infatuated? He totally denies and continues fluently: Don’t you see people getting locked up and sacrificing their whole life in order to fulfill the needs of their children,? Turning grey and wrinkled in their middle age? Losing courage and confidence? Wrenching in stress and regret? Nay, I  do not marry; I’d rather exile. Convinced he is not.

I beat him and drive him crazy, a marriage expert floods non-stop but his words weigh: Do you mean that marriage is retrogression? ‘No’ I have my own observations. It is a fabulous experience. Marriage sounds appealing that conjugal life is a wonderful discourse. It makes practical, teaches how to cope with numerous daunting setbacks, compels to concentrate on duties and victories; restrains from extraneous bullshits. He argues that a couple with a kid walking in the jolly face and sharing ecstasies is not less inspiring. Their ward holding a trophy and getting felicitated on the stage in front of their eyes is not only a pride for parents but also a momentous time of celebrating togetherness. Imagine your daughter coming to your arms cheerfully after receiving doctorate certificates or being a national figure that the dream you have nurtured down since long her to be.

How do you feel when your beloved son fulfills the greatest aspiration that you failed to achieve in your life? Family happiness, therefore, is supreme happiness. One sprung out of practical life and family challenges are viewed to be a true achievement than a single footloose life. Importantly, deserted life without family togetherness is colorless and tasteless.

The bombardment does not seem to stop. See, in society, you will be an odd man out if you are a coward to handle a family and steer it successfully along the family course as the worldly human culture. Nobody counts you as a perfect man in society.

You should envy when your next-door fellow friend comes out with playful kids and dear wife and asks you ‘hey buddy, when will you get married? It’s getting late man!’

Badly hammered, he tries to escape not to be embroiled in the mental unrest, but gets dragged back by his arms in the show and paralyzed to listen to the rest calmly.

Speechless and defeated, he keeps listening to the stories fed into him.

Trying to keep him patient and not be lost in limbo, the next marriage-hit fellow sympathizes with him by disclosing his defeated and painful grievances as if he were tired of the married life. He at least wraps up beautifully but reluctantly.

This doesn’t mean that conjugal life is always a bed of roses. The long-held supremo of your ‘self’ and so-called machismo are brought to the knee. You will have to stake your personal care-frees. Before marriage, you dictate your desires on your father’s head. After marriage, there will be somebody else to rein on yours.  Despite that all,  the joy of family life is immense.

Thrown into the confusion, my perplexed friend mutes for a while, delves into the depth, looks at this puzzled listener of bird in the same feather, and poses a callous question,

“What the hell you do?”

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Yam Ghimire
2 years ago

Haha, it is a fun read to know that marriage makes a man and then confuses the man and brings down the man flat on earth and finally do not know either to get married or rather go to live a monk life. What the hell do you do?

Dipika Adhikari
2 years ago

It’s always fresh and refreshing to look into someones observation ,idea and opinion about something keeping your biasness aside. If it is about topic like marriage it is even more fun to see from different perspectives of people because there have been many talks about this how some people enjoy it and some people not based on their experience and idea of it.But all of that aside ,the question really is what the hell do you do ?…
Ps- it was a good read👏👏

2 years ago

Wonderful piece of writing. No doubt a great content and obviously, you have an excellent command of English! Well done and Keep it up!!!