Should Emotions Situaltionally Fit With ? Mine Didn’t

“All emotions come from the heart,
so don’t judge them by situations.”

All you know is that some situations are not in our control. In the same way, emotions are not in our control. They will become out if they want it. So, these two things put us in danger and make trouble an equation:
Uncertain Events+Uncertain Emotions =Trouble Maker

This trouble maker equation happens with everyone at once. In such a situation, we don’t know how to react after this. Our emotions or minds become ‘blank.’

Many people suffer from this kind of dilemma. I’m also one of them. Let’s look at one of my experiences, which was a ‘trouble maker situation.’

In the year of 2015, my grandfather expired. Our family people went to his funeral. My Grandmother got a big shock at losing her life partner. She started feeling very lonely and depressed. She was broken from inside.

At one moment, she was not talking to anyone, not crying, and had no expressions on her face. I thought that she had gone into a coma. We all were afraid of her daily life and called the doctor. The doctor came and checked her.

“Everything was normal, nothing to worried about,” said the doctor.

I sat next to her and hugged her.
“Don’t worry, grandma, I’m with you, don’t even think that you are alone,” I said. She was still not reacting.
I tried to make her laugh. I started dancing and doing mimicry of her favorite actor. I sang her favorite song, but she was still silent.

Now my last hope was to tell her jokes. Yes, jokes. My grandfather was an amusing person. Her sense of humor was excellent. She picks up futile moments and contexts of everyday family life to make a burst of good laughter for everyone. She liked telling jokes and making people laugh. Whenever I was sad, she always came to me and said the funniest jokes to me, which wiped out my sadness and madness on many occasions.

So, my first joke was, “What do you call a labrador that becomes a magician? The answer is ‘a Labracadabrador.’ But, this did not work.

“Okay, Grandma, I will tell you one more joke. Where do cauliflower hang out?”
“In the Gobi Desert.”
This one was also unsuccessful. And, another last one broke out. “What movie should you watch on a dinner date?”
“It’s Kabhi Sushi Kabhie Rum.”
On this joke, Grandma looked at me and smiled. Yes. She smiled. I started dancing and hugging her.
“Finally, Grandma, you react to something. Wow! I am so happy.”

“You know, when I used to fight with your Grandpa and refused to dinner, he always told me this joke. I would laugh, and our fight would also finish.”Grandma held my hand and said. We were chatting.

Suddenly my Dad came and said, “Time to do Dad’s funeral.”

I held Grandma’s hand and went down for the funeral. His body was in the woods. Everyone took the ritual of ‘last look’ on his face. I took my turn too.

His closed eyes made me cry. And I did. While crying, my mind reminded me of the joke at which Grandma smiled.

I stopped crying and start laughing at loud. At the silence of someone’s death, my laugh echoed to everyone’s ears. People started scolding me but I couldn’t stop. Looking at me and my laughter, my Dad became so angry that he would badly slap me if Grandma didn’t stop him.

Everyone was shocked by my laughter because I was laughing at my Grandpa’s funeral. My cousin even thought that I had gone to be insane. But only my Grandma understood my feeling. She told me that I didn’t need to do someone’s final farewell necessarily by crying and mourning. She also added that we could also say goodbye by remembering them internally and peacefully.

This is how I once suffered from ‘Uncertain Events+Uncertain Emotions =Trouble Maker.’