Will Jesse Come?

I saw her in one corner of the library. She was on the floor with swollen eyes and zoned out. I walked and sat beside her. She didn’t even say hi. I asked her what her favorite genre of books was. She looked at me in my eyes with her red, swollen eyes so quickly and said, “I don’t read books.”

“Oh,” I replied.
“Yes, why do you care.” She said, trying to get up, but she stumbled and fell. I helped her to get up.
“Thanks,” she said.

She didn’t look okay. I could see it in her eyes that she had been going through something.

“You love libraries but not books?” I asked.

“I come here because it’s peaceful here, and it’s my last day today, so I came here today for one at a time,” she replied.

“So you’re moving out,” I said.

“Yeah, to heaven or could be hell,” she replied, looking at me right in my pupils with kind of a mad face.

“Oh, so you are moving to hell then, I guess if you are trying to move out all by yourself,” I said.

“Who even are you? And why are you questioning me so many things?,” she wondered.

“Emma, I am Emma, and I saw you from up there and came to you…” I said, pointing to the second floor of the library.
“I am straight, Emma; now leave me alone,” she said.

“So am I; I am not lesbian. I am 101% straight,” I told her.
“Well, my name is Jesse, and nice to meet you, Emma” she finally smiled but the fake one.

“So, who is making you move out ?” I asked her, trying to get the book from the top shelf.

“Some people, I crave love from people, from my parents and friends, but I don’t know how it feels to be loved,” she said with a small voice inhaling all the air around.

“Your parents don’t love you?” I asked again.

“They do, I am their only child, and they give me everything I ask for. But what I mean is, I crave different kinds of love,” she replied.

“So you are craving intimacy and romance?” I sought clarification.

Again, she immediately said, “I don’t even know you, and why am I telling all this to you?”

“Well, Jesse, we all meet a certain person in life where we can open up without hesitation and let our things out, but the sad part is they won’t be there forever, a certain person for a certain time. Maybe I am one of them in your life,” I tried to engage more with her.

“But you are a girl,” she said.
“Oh god, Jesse, it doesn’t matter, I am a human being, and that’s all that matters for you to open up,” I explained, widening my eyes.
She didn’t say anything.

We walked to the second floor and sat on a bench.

“Tell me more about you, Jesse,” I said.
“I don’t know me either Emma, I crave love from random people and hurt myself when they don’t respond to it,” she said, resting her chin on her knees.

“How old are you?” I asked.
“I turned 19 in February,” she said.
“And you said you crave romance?” I asked.
“It’s the same thing, love, and romance,” She said.

“It’s not the same thing, Jesse. Love and Romance are completely different things, but there could be Love in Romance and Romance in Love,” I said.

“Yea makes sense” She was zoning out.

“So you want to move out to heaven because of this?” I asked.
“Yeah, but this is one of them. I feel empty, and my life is not interesting like other people’s,” she trilled.

“You are only 19, and it takes time, Jesse. I am 21, and I had gone through this, and I too felt like giving up, but now when I look back at those times, I am thankful that I didn’t give up,” I elaborated.

She looked at me and hugged me, and started crying. I patted her on the back and told her it would be okay.

“I have no choice. It’s just so difficult for me to wake up and repeat the same things every day,” she said.
“It is, but this will not last forever. There will come a time where you will enjoy living like this,” I told.

“Life is so short to wait for that to happen, Emma. I am not doing this anymore,” she said.
“Jesse, who said life is short? Life is not short; it’s just unpredictable. And it’s all your choice if you want to live the same life every day or spice it up a little bit. It’s all up to you.” I tried to solace her.

I gave her a tissue I had in my bag and told her to wipe off her tears. She wiped her off tears and thanked me.

“Don’t take your life for granted. If you move out to heaven today, you will miss so many good things, and the people who love you will never recover from the pain you give them,” I told her.

She wiped her tears and tied her hair up, and again put her chin on her knees.

“None of this is going to work, Emma. You can’t, convince me to live when I have already decided to leave,” She said.

“Of course I can’t, but I can at least try. I lost my sister last year to suicide and my life hasn’t been the same since. And I am seeing my sister in you, Jesse,” I told her.

She looked at me and said, “I am sorry.”

“That doesn’t make sense Jesse, why are you sorry for me and not for yourself,” I told her.

“You are a good friend Emma.” She smiled at me and asked me if I wanted to walk downstairs.

I agreed, and we both walked to a fiction section where I saw a book “Veronika Decides To Die” by Paulo Coelho.

Jesse was ahead of me, and I called her.
“I want you to read this book before you move out, and I will get this book for you.” I handed her the book.

“I am not into books. I have never read any books,” Jesse told me, flipping the pages of the book.

“Please,…for people you love. I will give you a deadline, and we will again meet here in this same spot, and then I will not try to convince you for anything,” I told her, holding her hands with ‘Please do it’ eyes.

I gave her the deadline, and it was two weeks. She agreed. And she promised me to come there in two weeks. I believed in her that she would come. She thanked me with a friendly hug, and we decided to go home. We checked out the book and went our ways. I didn’t ask her where she lived and not even her phone number.

I don’t know if she is still here or if she read the book yet. But I believe she will be there next week.